I think I need to go to church....

The more and more I reflect on my life. I am beginning to see that I need to go to church. I'm not saying I am faithless-I am. I just think, I have lost my way somewhere-somehow.  I want to be somewhere, unsure of how I am to get there.
I pray every morning ...more or less.  I have a mantra that I recite just for me. It carries me through the day. When I fear something the first thing I do is pray. So why can it not be habitual. Is it because I'm a rebel. We all know I hate being told what to do. My mother often if not always asks me in a critical way, "your not going to church." I just ignore..but he back of my head probably my sub conscience is nagging too. Everything points to there. I feel that I know in order to have everything  I need the faith  I know what I want in life. I just need to have faith. The big elephant in the room is...... How?